For the past two months, I’ve been applying for jobs nonstop, doing interviews and spending days on technical exams. In the end, all I got were rejections, some heavier than others. Last night, I got my last rejection for the year. It was the one that mattered to me most, because it was the job I wanted the most. I got very sad, and my thoughts went into a spiral. I started to think of all the things that have happened in the last third of the year. I just feel exhausted and drained. And it’s so easy to let sadness consume me. I did, for a while, then I got up. I sat on my desk and wrote my feelings on my journal.
As much as I’d like to write about everything here as well, I want to focus only on the positive things on this blog post.
This morning, I gathered what I had from my travels and some little knick knacks here and there and put them together for a photo. I don’t have most of my travel souvenirs with me so this is what I was able to gather from my room.
Honestly, if I just stop being so emotional for a second, I can see that it has been a year full of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had in my life. I had authentic Korean BBQ which was out of this world. I went to a zoo in Japan, looked around me, and I could barely see the sky, because it was covered in pink cherry blossom trees. How insane… I swam with manta rays in Indonesia. I adopted a baby turtle, named it “Cookie” (like my dog, because I’m so creative), and set it free to the sea. I spent 16 days there staying in beautiful villas, eating (mostly) good food and drinking smoothies. I saw the beach of my dreams and got smashed by waves that I felt like dirty laundry in a washing machine.
It all sounds amazing but here I am in bed writing all this teary-eyed, not in a good way. I’m just… sad. All I can think about is the past few months of loss and rejection and chaos in my personal life. So much for a “positive” blog post, eh? At this point, all that’s left to do is to take time to take care of myself. On this last month of the year, I will take the time to cry, rest and recharge. And by 2019, I will be… I don’t know. We’ll see how that goes.
I keep waiting for myself to write something motivational and inspiring to end this post. But there’s nothing. So that’s it. Goodbye, 2018! 🙂